Posted on March 5, 2014 by

What Not to Say When Your Friend Shows You Her Diamond Ring

four engagement rings on fingers

Isn’t it so exciting how all of your friends are getting engaged?!  One after another, just falling into the arms of their own Prince Charmings.  Oh the romance!  Oh the sweetness!

four engagement rings on fingers

Oh the newsfeed clogging!

But diamond rings are so pretty, it’s not that bad, right?  I mean, who doesn’t want their Facebook newsfeed to look like a jewelry store?  

At least when it’s online you can just scroll down or hit “I don’t want to see this.”  You don’t have that option when someone shoves her fourth finger in your face and asks, “ISN’T IT AMAZING! WHAT DO YOU THINK?”  So in case you’ve forgotten proper etiquette, here is a reminder of what not to say.

“It’s just a rock.”

Well, technically it’s a rock that formed in the Lithospheric mantle under both intense pressure and heat.  A rock that then traveled to Earth’s surface by literally—there is no other way to say this–riding a volcano.

Aretha Franklin album cover for Respect


After this arduous journey–during which lesser diamonds have crumbled–from the center of the earth to earth’s surface, this diamond rough is mined, cut, polished, and set into a piece of jewelry.  Oh, and more importantly, it was a gift from the person your friend loves most in the world.

Instead, just say, “It’s beautiful.”

“An engagement ring is the ultimate symbol of man’s oppression of woman. No one should own you.”

Now is not the time!

Even if you’re disappointed that your sister-in-arms has thrown aside the pain centuries of women have felt so that she could wear something that sparkles, now is just not that time.  I’m sure there will be a time it’s just not now.  You don’t have to pretend to be enamored by the jewel, but try to see it for what it is: a gift to celebrate this incredibly happy time in your friend’s life.

Instead try, “He chose well.”

“Back when I got engaged, three months ago, no one was doing haloed blood diamonds, but if that’s what you like…”

If you’re insufferable and your friend is still friends with you, cherish this relationship.  Don’t push her away with your incessant badgering about how much more your fiancé paid or how he spent 6 months longer than hers designing your ring.  If you need it spelled out for you, it’s because this isn’t a competition.  Everything you are saying is that her ring is lesser than yours.  I shouldn’t have to point out to you that that isn’t what she wants to hear.

“If simple and understated is your style…”

Instead say, “It’s beautiful!” and if you can’t resist, you can throw in a little “we’re going to have the most fun planning our weddings together!”

“What kind of engagement ring is that?”

If someone says, “will you marry me?” that is a proposal.  If the same person presents a ring or piece of jewelry at the same time that the question is being asked, that object is now an engagement ring.  People are getting engaged with all kinds of rings now (did you hear the one about the Pokeman ring?) with some people forgoing precious metals and gemstones altogether.

twisty tie engagement ring

It’s the thought that counts.

And this isn’t even a new trend.  When my grandparents got engaged back in the 1950’s, my grandfather said to my grandmother, “I can buy you a ring or I can buy us a car but I can’t afford both.”  They’ve been married for almost 60 years and have two children, eight grandchildren, and 13 great-grandchildren.  It doesn’t matter that my grandmother got an engagement car.

Even if you don’t know what you’re looking at, if someone tells you it’s her engagement ring, just say, “how thoughtful!”


Aah!  How can you not say anything?  Just look at this beautiful sparkling, twinkling, stunner!

ron swanson saying no gif

Oh…well, just say, “it’s beautiful.”  That’ll end the conversation.

In general, if you can’t think of something to say or if your first thought is “that’s ugly,” just say “it’s beautiful” and enjoy not ruining your friend’s day.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

3 Responses to What Not to Say When Your Friend Shows You Her Diamond Ring

  1. Lisa says:

    Hahaha, I never thought about how this “rock” is so badass!

  2. Jen says:

    But my feminist rant is important!! :)

  3. Sara says:

    Sometimes it’s hard to say “it’s beautiful” when really you hate it! But I will try my best to smile when I lie ;)