Posted on February 13, 2015 by

5 Hilarious Valentine’s Day Cards to Say What We’re All Thinking

Valentine's Day card: Will you be my Valentine?

Love is in the air for those who have found their other halves and it will be celebrated come hell or highwater tomorrow, February 14th, Valentine’s Day. And for those who haven’t, tomorrow (bonus: the most romantic day of the year falls on a Saturday this year!) will be the date angrily crossed out in red on the calendar and passionately cursed at all day long. Whether you have googly eyes only for that special person in your life or spend your time while out and about shooting venomous daggers at those who put nearly all of their affection for their significant others on very public display, this so-called Hallmark holiday has no dearth of greeting cards on the market and practically has all of us covered. Let your true feelings about the holiday show in the kind of Valentine’s Day card you send. Below are 5 hilarious Valentine’s Day cards to say what we’re all thinking.


Valentine’s Day Cards

The Diamond Envy-endorsed card

Hilarious Valentine's Day e-card: I'm on a diet, so you can buy me diamonds for Valentine's Day

Chocolate does not always reign supreme in a woman’s heart!


For the woman who is trying to maintain her weight, the best hint she can drop her honey is to send him this Valentine’s Day card. Diamonds also last longer than chocolate!


The card that many husbands and boyfriends will be choosing

Hilarious Valentine's Day e-card:  I'm going to spend Valentine's Day with my true love... Food.

As hard as he may try this Valentine’s Day, he wants to head off any disappointment you will feel.


He’s thinking of you this Valentine’s Day, but just in case he falls short of any lofty notions you were entertaining about what he’s planned for your special day together, just know that he’s sorry in advance. And, maybe, just maybe, you can cut him a little break this time.


The card single people send their single friends

Misery loves company, or food anyway. Photo:

Misery loves company, or food anyway.


Single folks, you are not alone in your singleness. Your fellow single people will be indulging in the most decadent foods they can think of this Valentine’s Day to remind themselves of the other forms of riches they have in their lives. If you are single and reading this, feel free to follow suit.


The card single people send to their secret single crushes

Hilarious Valentine's Day e-card: Happy Valentine's Day from a secret admirer who really exists and isn't just you sending this card to yourself.

Aww, what a way to show your single crush you’re really just two peas in a pod.


Make someone’s day and let her know that she’s getting at least two Valentine’s Day cards (i.e., one from you, one from herself) this year. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!


The card for new lovebirds

Hilarious Valentine's Day e-card: I'm so proud you're my Valentine that I hope we run into one of my exes.

There is no feeling like being newly in love.


Sweep your special someone off her (or his feet) by sending this flattering card. Now you have a reason to genuinely celebrate Valentine’s Day!


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